The Graduate
Leila attended Ms. Lam Montessori, a Mandarin Chinese immersion program, in Brooklyn since she was two, and this year she was able to attend school at the original location in Taiwan. This year was a special school year for Leila because she was given the title of “kindergarten graduate”. My husband and I learned quickly this was not a superficial title, but one that came with responsibilities. Leila’s school curriculum is diverse. She is learning how to clean up after herself, how to cook, and her role as a leader in the larger school community. She is also learning division and multiplication, how to read in English and Chinese, and African drumming. During the year, she was given responsibilities that included:
- Class helper (each Tuesday)
- Holiday Program Performance (School attends only kindergartners perform)
- Reading Mandarin Book to her classmates during story-time
- 7 km Ride bike
- 1.5 km Hike
- School sleepover (independently making breakfast and taking care of herself,
- 200 meter relay race
What is more remarkable is that I had to support her in the above mentioned activities as a solo parent while teaching and completing research. I had to show up events with an abundance of hugs, kisses, and love. And of course it wasn’t just about showing up. The week leading up to the event I had to navigate Taipei on bicycle to find a way to procure appropriate clothing that ranged from hiking sandals to a graduation dress. I asked willing parents to take videos for me while I took photos, and some days, I had to clear my calendar to be fully available for Leila’s school activities. Missing any of these events was not an option. I had to be present with flowers, a big smile, a positive attitude, and love multiplied by two. It is true that if Leila had these events at her school in New York, I would have likely attended them all as well, but since we have been in Taiwan, I have noticed that the emotional support and nurturing that Leila requires from me is greater. Before moving to Taipei, this was a responsibility my husband and I shared, and this year it was completely on me. Leila has always been good at communicating her need for affection. When she was a baby less than a year old, if I was holding her with one hand, she would grab my other hand and pull it toward her own back. While in Taiwan, Leila would randomly say, “Mom, I need a hug,” and I would stop whatever I was doing to embrace her. Throughout the year, most events were attended by a diverse arrangement of parents, some Dads were regulars, but the Moms were a persistent presence. The graduation was an exception. It was clear that this was the event of the year, and parents dressed up to celebrate the graduates for their hard work. There was a two guest maximum and the room was filled. During the ceremony, there was a father daughter dance, and I had to step in to be Dad while Leila and I waltzed together. Leila would have never complained because she is very sensitive to my feelings, especially with regards to our life in Taiwan. In this moment, I knew she missed her dad, and I missed my husband. Feeling her sadness on this joyous occasion was difficult for me. Her sadness was a momentary pause as she was back to her next dance number within minutes, and as you can see from the photo below, she is generally an exuberantly happy child, so I am very fortunate. After the ceremony, I gave her a beautiful bouquet textured with her favorite colors, and we celebrated at her favorite restaurant. When she replays this event in her memory, it is my hope that she remembers it with fondness. My take away is to continue to celebrate each milestone with as much enthusiasm as possible. There was such a warm feeling in the room from all of the parental joy. I am sure the happy feelings reverberated to all of the graduates, and I can imagine that it must have such a positive impact on their perception of school and learning.
The Bike Ride & Mountain Climb
On a cloudy Friday afternoon, the graduate parents met at Dadocheng and waited for our graduates to arrive. It had threatened to rain that day, so we were all hopeful the weather would not disrupt the ride. We share a Line Group (similar to WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger but predominately used in Taiwan), and I could see the parents posting about weather concerns all morning. The parents rented bikes in the location to prepare for the 7 km ride along with our children. There were families on tandem bikes, and parents with smaller children with rear seats. Overall, it was a enthusiastic display of parental and family involvement. Those of us working had to take the afternoon off to be with our children. In one of my early posts, I mentioned Leila could not ride a bike. We purchased her bike and begin to preparation last September. She started in training wheels and quickly progressed and was riding comfortably by October. Throughout the year we incrementally increased our distance. When I met her the day of the ride, she ran to give me a big hug, jumped on her bike, and joined her classmates riding around the park. We rode together and she finished with ease, and it ended up being a really beautiful day.
The Sleepover
The same night of the bike ride, the kindergarten students were required to complete an overnight sleepover at the school. We went home after the bike ride, showered and took her suitcase back to the school. She joined her classmates with excitement. They were responsible for taking care of themselves. They had to arrange their sleeping bags, make breakfast, and clean up. We were asked to record a message for them before bed. Leila said mine was boring, but she thought her dad’s message was hilarious. He wasn’t going for funny, and I probably should have gone with a lighter tone, but I have saved both recordings, and plan play them again for her high school graduation to see if her perspective changes.
The Relay Race
The relay race was scheduled on Leila’s birthday but was rescheduled because of weather. I would describe the event as the Ms. Lam Montessori Olympics. All of the kindergarten graduates from the five Ms. Lam Montessori schools would compete against each other. The rescheduled date was a warm day, a Thursday morning, and parents and children had a good time. There were lots of smiles and hugs. Leila ran hard even though her team was quite behind when she received the baton. She ran 200 meters and handed the baton to her classmate. I was proud of her even they though they managed to get last place. She asked at the end of the race where was her trophy. I explained that only the team that won received trophies. She seemed fine, but I think she’ll keep that in mind the next time she is training for a race.
Beach Clean-up
The beach clean up was a school-wide event, so we were joined by several other families. Unfortunately, the beach was not conveniently accessible by mass transit, however, one of Leila’s classmates parents offered to give us a ride. Leila and I often have conversations about plastic and waste and to think of ways that try to find ways to reduce our waste. When the whale died off the coast of the Philippines, and marine biologists found 88 pounds of plastic in its stomach, I wanted to let her know just because we toss something in the trash, we really don’t know where it may end up. We spent 2 hours on a gray Sunday morning retrieving washed up trash and the trash that folks leave behind on the beach. Your actions have impact. I am sure each object we retrieved (hundreds of small caps for a bottled beverage) had a story.
Camp Taiwan
Leila and I spent three nights and two days with the kindergarten graduates and parents at Camp Taiwan. Leila climbed the rock climbing wall three times, participated in archery, zip-lining and her favorite and most greatly anticipated activity, river tracing. It was a fun but exhausting weekend but good to know we could drive just an hour to the Northeast of Taiwan embedded in fresh air and a comfortable camp sites with many activities for the children. I had the opportunity to get to know some of the families much better and connect children faces with families. As I am beginning to connect and meet and grow more comfortable with life in Taipei, it all seems to be coming to an end.
Taipei Montessori School
From my observations, regardless of economics, Taiwanese culture considers education very important, and while the approach to education may not be universally agreed upon (traditional vs. progressive methods), it is universally expected that all children should strive to achieve. Leila’s school year was pretty amazing. Not only one did she make friends and become embedded in a new system quickly, the school was also instrumental in helping me navigate the language challenges. Ms. Lam Montessori is considered a private school and expensive by Taiwanese standards, and while I love it, I recognize that it is likely not economically diverse. Evaluating her experience in Taiwan, I couldn’t help but think about the United States education system. While away, I overheard complaints of decreased education funding and insufficient teacher pay, and in New York specifically, I learned about the problematic under representation of black students in specialized high schools in New York. The way racism permeates the US school systems is unfortunate. I imagine there could be positive shifts if our society believed that every child is capable of academic success. Leila’s teacher often emailed me directly and sometimes on weekends. In some cases, the teacher was communicating something in English that would have been difficult for me to figure out in Mandarin, other times, there was an adaptation issue. Having a direct pipeline to the teacher made me feel that the teacher was invested in Leila. My mother was an involved and engaged parent, so I learned from her example that it is important to be present and involved as a parent. But reflecting on my mother’s outreach, my mother was the one largely reaching out to the teacher, not the other way around. The relationship was more one-sided. In this instance, I felt that we were mutually invested and anytime Leila was having issues with understanding and adapting the teacher contacted me. Leila and I had a fantastic academic year with an amazing teacher, so I do not want to transfer my isolated experience to all Taiwanese schools. However, my experience here has made me more deeply concerned about the failure of the educational system in America to educate all students regardless of income and race. What if we eliminated bias from the system and started off with the premise that all children have the ability to excel academically?
