Creating Balance: Research : Travel: Nurture

The last 30 days Leila and I visited seven cities, celebrated her sixth birthday, and started activities surrounding her kindergarten graduation. To say we have been busy is an understatement. Balancing work and motherhood while traveling is challenging and rewarding, but everyday I start the day by taking a deep breath and making an attempt to live in the fullness of each moment. Managing life in Taiwan has been made easier by my  conscious decision to choose to do what is best for us both in the moment.  Sometimes if Leila is tired, I let her sleep in and show up a bit late for school.  (I have even stopped judging myself for it.)  Or, when we are traveling, I have started setting limits. There is so much to see, but I understand how many places she can visit in one day and how this can even vary depending on the day. She has an impressive capacity to sit through lectures, graduate courses, and material that would be considered age inappropriate. In this regard, she has surprised me. I recognize that this time for us is so unique. She will have memories from our life in Taipei for years to come. Our experience has been mostly positive, but, sometimes, Leila has meltdowns just like a typical six hear old, and sometimes they happen in the middle of immigration in the airport. In those  moments, it feels as if everyone’s eyes are on us. We have been in a space over the past eight months where largely we are the only people that look like us everywhere we go. I have flashbacks from my childhood of my parents telling me that I could never misbehave or show emotion in public because well, I represent every black person in the world and I should not attempt to reflect poorly on my race. I understand where they were coming from. They grew up in the Jim Crow South, and the racial politics remain oppressive in America today.  And growing up in Mississippi, I was the first generation that attended integrated schools, so there was a lingering expectation that I had to be perfect — at all times. Not because perfectionism was healthy or normal, but because the “white people” around us could never see our vulnerability or weaknesses and they already assumed we were inferior. It made me feel invisible. I have made a conscious decision to let this dialogue rest  – even in my own head. I have let Leila know that in these meltdown moments that she is only representing Leila. – not every child from America, not every person of color in America, or every multiracial little girl in the world. She is allowed to feel what she is feeling. If you need to take a moment to cry or be upset, I will give you the space to do that, but she does have to understand that at some point we have to pick up and make it through whatever “this moment” is. I do give her space to feel what she is feeling. I do my best to listen patiently, even when I am exhausted or frankly, embarrassed. My philosophy on mothering has transformed and will probably continue to transform, and while I want to raise a respectful, kind, and strong “Leila”, I also want her to know whens she comes into a space she is representing “Leila” not a entire race, gender, or religion.  And anyone that doesn’t get that, well, that is their issue, not hers. THEY should expand the people they encounter OR avoid making assumptions about one group of people based on race, religion, sexuality, and gender.  I am not responsible for anyone’s limited capacity to understand humanity and neither is Leila.   

Taipei, Taidong, Lanyu, Rinari, Kaoishung Tokyo, Kyoto, and back to Taipei. This weekend Leila completed a 7 km bike ride with her classmates which was followed by an overnight sleepover at her school. Here are our photographs of highlights with descriptions of our 12 top moments from the last 30 days.

Happy 6th Birthday Leila!

Leila loves to celebrate her birthday. She begins the planning process the day after her birthday party from the previous year, and she contributes ideas throughout the year. Leila turned six on March 9. Originally, her school had a multi-school relay race planned on her actual birthday for all of the kindergarten graduates but because of rain it was rescheduled. Her teacher was instrumental in helping me plan.  She worked with Leila to create a guest list.  Then, she collected the emails for me, and finally, in the most critical step, she helped me translate the invitations into comprehensible Chinese.  She even helped me select a place that was popular with the parents.  I have to say from a execution perspective it was the most stress-free party. The venue provided the food, entertainment, and play space. Leila and I showed up only with the cake and gift bags, and she had a great time!

Taitung to Lanyu

In this photograph, Leila and I are sitting directly behind the pilot on a flight from Taitung to Lanyu. After Leila’s birthday, I scheduled a flight to this southeastern Taiwanese city. Weekends are prime travel times for us. I make efforts to maintain her school schedule as much as possible, so we had to make use of our Saturday evening and Sunday after her birthday.  From Taitung airport, we were able to access the daily (and limited) 12 seat planes to Lanyu that are so vulnerable that they could be canceled for its rainy, and unfortunately, it rains quite a bit.  Luckily we had sunny weather and no canceled flights.   Sadly the balloon bracelet in the previous image had to be thrown away at security.  

Orchid Island

Lanyu/Orchid Island is a beautiful place. There are not large resorts or developments. It is mostly a natural island off the southeast coast of Taiwan.  What I appreciate about the approach to the land is that is is not punctuated with tall buildings. There isn’t a building that could compete with the beauty of the mountain and the coastline.  Its only fitting that the indigenous tribe decided to place their buildings underground.  

Indigenous Architecture at Lanyu

Yami people in Lanyu were known for creating homes below ground to withstand the intense typhoons. The homes are surrounded by a tiered retaining wall constructed from rocks. The roof line sits below the retaining wall. There is a setback of approximately 5-6’ from the retaining wall to the edge of the home. The retaining wall has drainage pipes that are linked within. When I entered the home, the roof line was so shallow, that I could only sit within the space. The interior was a dark wood interior and decorated with personal items. 

Pintung County, Taipei: NTU to Rinari

This semester I am teaching a class at National Taiwan University with Dr. Shu-Mei Huang. Five students were selected to travel and explore heritage and conservation of the Rukai Tribe settlement at Kucupagane. Next week, I will be hiking 5-6 hours with Dr. Huang and students to the top of the photographed mountain. The original settlement that is currently being preserved has been listed by World Monuments Foundation.  The homes in the mountain have been estimated at 600 years old. The Rukai people relocated from the top of the mountain in the 1970’s and 1980’s. The site they moved to was destroyed by Typhoon Morakot in 2009. The settlement of Rinari, at the base of the mountain,  is where they currently live. Leila also joined me on this trip. She spent most of her time sketching. She was determined to have drawing competitions with my students. If you look at the photo closely, you can see that she is walking with the group.

Pintung County, Taiwan: Indigenous Architecture Rukai Tribe

Rukai architecture has a defining characteristics of stacked slate walls the frame the home. The structural integrity is maintained without mortar or mastic and is stacked strategically.  The slate is sourced from the adjacent mountain, cut, and organized. The coloration and variety adds to the interior and exterior aesthetic value. 

Kaoishung, Taiwan:  National Kaohsiung Center for the Fine Arts

On our return from Rinari, Leila and I made a quick stop to Kaoishung, so we could see National Kaohsiung Center for the Fine Arts designed by Francine Houben of Mecanoo Architects.  The design was inspired by Banyan trees found in the region.  Notice how the wall and the floor are continuous.

Kyoto, Japan: The Golden Temple

Japan was our travel choice for Spring Break. Kyoto is the original capital of Japan which means it’s embedded with beautiful temples and historic architecture. One photo couldn’t possibly describe it. Leila and I spent four days exploring. We saw monkeys, the bamboo forest, and many temples. This city certainly deserves its own post and a designated research architectural fellowship. But, for now, here is the golden temple. I selected this photo because it is a beautiful integration of  of landscape architecture and architecture.

Tokyo, Japan: Sakura

Leila and I took the bullet train from Kyoto to Tokyo and arrived in 2.5 hours with plans to spend our weekend in Tokyo. Tokyo is a metropolitan city. I looked at all the things I wanted to do and reminded myself that I couldn’t do it all. I know we will be back to visit Tokyo. The one thing that is so special about this particular time is that Sakura (Cherry Blossoms) are in full bloom, and everyone I spoke to who had been to Japan commented that our visit overlapped with the beautiful bloom. Luckily when we arrived Tokyo, we went to Yoyogi Park and were surrounded by these beauties.

Tokyo, Japan:  Chuo and Koto

Fun is necessary. We balance museum visits with kid activities and this is one of them. Leila bounced, rolled, drew, and shopped!  When I was just “the architect” I traveled with intensity visits 2-3 museums a day. Now, I’ve been forced to slow down – in a good way. Hearing her genuine laughter makes my day and I get to experience the city as a mom.

Taipei: Graduation Bike Ride at Dadocheng

Leila had responsibilities as a kindergarten graduate – one of which is a 7 kilometer bike ride. The parents rode together with the children. She was excited, prepared, and maintained her endurance throughout. Inserting fitness into school is beyond cool – especially at this age.  I hope that she continues to understand the importance of continuing an active lifestyle.

Taipei: The Sleepover

Leila completed her first overnight sleep over. This means we are closer to the end of my Fulbright year than the beginning. When her teacher first told us about the sleepover, it seemed so distant. Now, we are making mental and actual preparations for our New York return. Everyone said the time would pass quickly, and it has. As we are planning our final months, it feels surreal.